Eragon's a Whore
by ac-the-brain-supreme
Summary: Unrelated series of oneshots that exploit the gayness of the boys in our favorite story, Eragon. Pairings range from the mundane to the extraordinary to the WTF MATE! This chapter: Brom/Eragon
1. Murtagh

_Yay! My first Eragon fic! Hurray! I have to thank my friend, alsdssg, for the inspiration and the insistance that I post it. _

_and other than warning you about pervertedness and studipity, there is really nothing else to say. So...enjoy!_

**ac-the-brain-supreme does not own Eragon. If she did, then that movie would never have been brought into existance. Bleh!!**

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Murtagh pulled Eragon into his arms, making the younger, shorter boy drop the sword he had been holding. Eragon's mind told him to pull away, but he rarely ever listened to his mind, so why bother starting now. And who would be listening to their mind when a handsome young man was pulling you close, closer, closer to him.

Eragon's face turned a bright red color. Brighter than Thorn's scales; brighter than the blood that was rushing throughout his shaking body; brighter than any color red he has ever seen. Murtagh's lips graced his, the older man's breath making those lips warm and tingly.

"I love you, Eragon" Murtagh whispered.

Eragon's eyes widened, but soon returned to their normal size. He leaned into Murtagh and whispered back, "I love you too."

Then the two began to kiss.

**Eragon's A Whore**

"Damn that Eragon" Nasuada whispered to her elfin companion. She didn't know why she whispered since they were in the middle of a small forest that was far from anything. Maybe it was out of anger? Arya, the black-haired elf princess, nodded and stayed silent. It's probably better just to let her rant about the dumb, dumb, very dumb dragon rider.

"Damn that stupid rider with his big, stupid dragon and his stupid hotness!" Nasuada continued.

"You think Eragon is hot?" Arya naturally spoke with a soft voice so Nasuada wasn't surprised that she whispered back.

"Don't you?"

Arya blinked. "I'm an elf. Not only that, I'm an elf princess."

Nasuada cocked her head to the side. "What does that mean?"

Arya stared straight ahead of her. "I'm cold and emotionless."

Nasuada pointed to the sky. "Too true!"

At that moment, they heard what sounded like a moan. Arya and Nasuada looked at each other for a moment before looking out in front of them. Nasuada was ready to run gung-ho through the bushes out into the open, but Arya had a hold on her wrist. Nasuada realized what Arya meant. They didn't know what that moaning was from. For all they knew, it could have been the wind in the trees.

Nasuada and Arya silently crept up to the bushes and looked through a hole that was in them. Nasuada gasped when she saw Murtagh and Eragon together. Making out. Passionately. With their dragons nearby, enjoying the show.

Arya, as she said before, was cold and emotionless for the most part, but had a strange attraction to the scene before her. "Is it just me, or is this really, really hot?"

Nasuada glanced at Arya. The pure randomness of that question made Nasuada feel a little uneasy. Then she heard Eragon moan again. She turned back and saw that things were getting hot and heavy. Murtagh had taken the initiative of fondling Eragon's ass, an action that Eragon was obviously loving.

"Hells yeah" Nasuada responded.

The two girls crouched in silence, enjoying what they were watching. After a while, Arya commented, "Looks like Murtagh is very turned on by Eragon and his noises."

"They are some pretty hornifying noises."

"Hornifying?" Arya asked.

"They make you horny" Nasuada explained.

"Oh." Arya blinked a few times. "I think they're gonna do it."

"Looks that way" Nasuada agreed.

Arya and Nasuada witnessed Murtagh pushing Eragon onto the ground and sitting on top of him. "Yep. They're going to do it."

"Of course Eragon's the bottom bitch."

"Is there any other position for him? I mean, even in a three-way he would be on the very bottom."

"Who would be in a three-way?" Nasuada asked, very curious.

"Those two and...I don't know. Oromis? I think he's horny for Eragon."

"I don't think Murtagh would like someone other than him dominating Eragon" Nasuada commented.

"But Oromis would never let anyone stick anything in him" Arya said.

"Neither would Murtagh." Eragon moaned loudly, seemingly calling out Murtagh's name. Nasuada's tongue lolled out of her mouth. A corner of her lips twitched upwards. "Yummy."

"Murtagh has a huge cock."

"I'll say." Nasuada shook with excitement. "Ooh! This is the best porn I've ever seen!"

Arya touched her upper lip. "I have a nosebleed."

Nasuada looked at Arya. "That's interesting." Nasuada looked back at the boys. "I wonder if that hurts."

"He's getting something shoved up his ass. Of course it should hurt."

"Yeah...but what about the way he's twisted?"

Arya raised a sleder eyebrow. "I guess having his leg like that makes it hurt less. How the fuck shoud I know?"

Nasuada stared at Arya. "I've never heard you curse before."

"Then you're never heard me talk to Eragon."

Nasuada looked back. "I wish we had something to record this with."

"That would be very nice."

The girls stopped talking, deciding to just enjoy what they were watching. After a while, Nasuada's legs were starting to cramp. She rubbed her calves. "Damn, how long are they going to take?"

"I don't care. This is the most excitement I've had in a long, long time."

"That's sad to hear."

They saw Eragon throw his head back and release a scream as he finished before Murtagh. Nasuada leaned a little closer. Murtagh should be finishing anytime soon. After all, he couldn't be going on and on like this for hours.

**Eragon's a Whore**

Arya glanced up at the setting sun. "Good fuck."

Nasuada leaned back. "I know. How long have they been at it?"

Arya thought. "I'm assuming six hours at the least."

"Damn." Nasuada closed her eyes. "Eragon is a lucky bastard."

"For what, having his brother fuck him for six hours straight?"

Nasuada sat up straight. "For having the hottest guy in all of Alagesia _want_ to fuck him for six hours." Nasuada turned to Arya. "I wouldn't care if I was the guy's sister, if he offered such incredible sex that it lasted for a quarter of a day, I would take him up on it!"

Arya blinked at the sky. "Sometimes, I believe that the only difference between an elf and a human are the ears and the magic ability."

"Why?"

"Each species fuck like horny monkeys."

The girls heard a grunt. They crawled over to the bushes and looked through their holes. Murtagh was lying on top of Eragon. Both were sweaty and exhausted, panting like...well...like they just had sex for just short of half the day.Nasuada had a sense of peace run through her veins. Finally, it was over!

Arya, though, was a little dissapointed. She thought they could have gone for another few hours.

They watched as Murtagh picked Eragon up and set him on his feet. Eragon seemed woozy and a little out-of-it. Murtagh kissed Eragon's shoulder before picking up his clothes and covering himself. Nasuada whined when Murtagh covered his dick. Then, after they were both completely clothed, Murtagh and Eragon had a few passionate kisses and then Murtagh left.

Arya turned to her gay porn companion. "Why did we come looking for Eragon in the first place?"

Nasuada thought for a moment. "I think...it was to help us choose a new style of lace."

Arya nodded. "I think he'd help us very much."

Nasuada nodded as well. "I betcha he would."

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_See, I told you it was going to be perverted and stupid. And there's more to come! Just review and I will hurry up with the next chapter (I think XD)._

_Later!_


	2. Oromis

_Okay, so I just totally wrote this in...not even five minutes. I don't even know why. I'm on a streak on completeing old works of mine, so you might be seeing more at some point in the future. Hopefully it won't be another year._

**If AC owned Eragon, it'd be even gayer than it already is.**

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Oromis watched as Eragon sat on his stump, deep in thought. Oromis stared intently at his young apprentice. Then, Eragon twitched. His eyes shot open and he looked around, confused. He shook his head, and returned to meditation.

Oromis smirked. He stared intently at Eragon again. Again, the rider twitched, looked around, and returned to meditation.

Glaedr asked Oromis, through their mind-link, _What are you doing?_

Oromis tapped his fingers against the trunk of a tree. _Having some fun._

Oromis could "hear" Glaedr sigh. _By torturing the poor boy?_

_It's not torture_, Oromis responded.

Another sigh. _Oromis, those thoughts you're sending him are not very...proper._

_He likes them._

_How do you know?_

Oromis let Glaedr look through his eyes for a moment.

_...Oh..._

_Told ya he liked it!_

_Okay...but remember, he's thousands of years younger than you._

_So?_

_So take it easy. I don't want you being more tired than you really need to be._

Oromis blew some of his white bangs from his face. _I'm not that old._

_Really? Then what are you?_

Oromis smiled widely, even though no one could really see it. _A pervert._


	3. Brom

_It's short, but funny. And to you a hell of a lot faster than the last chapter._

_Enjoy!_

**ac-the-brain-supreme does not own Eragon. It probably wouldn't be as crappy as it is if she did. **

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Eragon held his dying mentor in his arms, tears running down his cheek. Brom couldn't die! He just couldn't! He...he was the only father he had--well not really, but close enough. He was his only friend--well, there was that cousin of his, but he probably hated Eragon by now. So that narrowed Eragon's friends to Saphira and Brom. Eh, he could have worse, or less, friends.

"Er...a...gon..." Brom muttered out.

Eragon leaned in close. "Yes?"

Brom grasped Eragon's shirt. "I...want you...to do something...for me..."

"What? What?" Eragon sniffled.

Brom brought Eragon closer. He whispered something in the younger boy's ear before leaning back.

Eragon blinked at older man, processing the words said to him. Figuring it would be easier by saying the request aloud, Eragon repeated: "Give you a blow job?"

_Now remember people: no promises. But reviews are a grent incentive for anything in life._


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